I watch on,
Helpless as my sisters are torn apart by the men whose eyes undress.
Whose fingers dig in deep
Whose bodies weigh down and crush
Whose lips whisper words that have no meaning
Whose mouths ravish
I watch on helpless as my sisters are torn apart by men who
Have no right
I give myself to you freely
My hand will hold yours
My mind will think of only you
My body will become one with yours
My soul will not wander
I give myself freely
I’m sick and tired of waiting around until I’m
‘Convenient’
for you
Your comments cut me like a knife, plunging deep within.
Your words leave scars on my heart, making me believe I have sinned.
Your love is drowned out by what you say, what I think you now believe.
I’m afraid I’ve fallen into your web made of all the lies you weave.
You were the boat that kept me from drowning.
But you capsized.
It’s addicting: the feeling of dragging a blade across your skin.
The feeling of pain coming from somewhere other than within.
I’m out at sea and I need my lighthouse to bring me home.
But a fog is rolling in.
I’m lost.
I’m sinking but you bring me to the surface.
I’m suffocating but you give me air.
I’m hurting but you heal me.
I’m screaming but you hear me
I’m dying but you give me life.
The thing in your hand is taking you away from me.
The thing in your hand is a distraction.
The thing in your hand is becoming more important to you than me
Why?
Why have I become less intriguing to you than this lifeless thing?
“What’s wrong?” they ask “are you okay?”
But I haven’t got a clue what to say.
What is wrong?
I don’t know, wish I did.
Am I okay?
Can I survive another day?
If I knew what was wrong I would scream and I’d shout.
I’d cry to the moon and let it all out.
But my voice has been silenced, betrayed by my mind.
Filled with emotion and pain, carefully twined
Around a heart and a body that’s about to give up.
A time bomb tick-tocking,
About to blow up.
I don’t know what’t wrong,
I wish that I knew
Because even with all the help in the world,
I’ve still got no clue what to do.
©2018
